You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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