i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize