I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize