you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
