Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
