are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
