I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
