babies were throwing up all over the place
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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