I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
