He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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