btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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