You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
