He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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