if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There r osticjed everywhere
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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