at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
