sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize