now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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