Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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