Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
