i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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