We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
