I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
