Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
