Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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