I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
