I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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