You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
