All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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