Pants 0. Shit 1.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
