why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
