walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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