just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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