I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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