Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
