If that was your dad, he is hot
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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