all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
