omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize