I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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