you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
