Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
