she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
