can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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