Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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