My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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