Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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