a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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