i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
