How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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