he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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