Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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