Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
