if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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