the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
