you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
