Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
