that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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