is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
