1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
